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A Website For Children Hurting 
From Divorce
We Hurt Too 
What You Can Do For YOU

   We want you to know that you can and will get through this. I did, and I live a happy life today. Divorce is probably something you never totally get over but you can have happy days and great memories. It's all about your attitude and the decision you can make to either let it destroy you or to learn and grow from it and still become the person that you are meant to be.

  This is a picture of my family. They mean a lot to me and even though it was really hard on us, we learned a lot and are very close. Look at the ideas below and see what you can do to help yourself get through the pain. We also love to hear your ideas about what helped you. 





















Activities to Help You Get Through It and Deal 
With The Pain:

Journal, journal, journal.  Writing things down is such a great way of getting feelings out of your head and releasing them so that they don't keep building up inside of us. Journaling is one of the greatest tools to use to benefit you. Some topics you might want to write about in your journal are:

  • I feel so angry because.....
  • What I wish I could express and haven't been able to is.....
  • The things that make me hurt so much are....
  • The things I miss the most are.....
  • I wish that.......
  • I hope that......
  • What has gotten better..
  • What I like about my new life...
  • What I don't like about my new life...
  • My losses are....
  • What I wish I could say to my mom is...
  • What I wish I could say to my dad is....
  • I'm torn because....
  • What I've learned from this is....
  • I want my family to be...
  • What I like about myself is....
  • The things I will do differently when I have a family of my own is.....

Get involved in a sports activity. This is a great way to let off some steam and excel in areas that help you grow in confidence. Physical activity is a wonderful way to relieve stress from your body. Go hit a punching bag and get it out! Go on walks and clear your head.

Express your feelings in a story.  Write your own story about your experience and add pictures to it to describe what it felt like.

If your parents encourage you to go to counseling, try it out.  You may be surprised at how helpful it is for you. Counseling is a great way to talk to someone who is not in the situation about how you are feeling. Counselors can't tell parents or others anything you discuss privately unless it may be something that they feel may be a danger to you. Feel free to express yourself and get your feelings out. Counseling is a safe place to express everything you might be holding inside. Logan went to counseling and he didn't want to at first but later on he saw how helpful it was to him. 

Use art to express your feelings and emotions.  Art is a great way to be free to express what's on the inside, through painting, clay, or any art mediums. Have fun with this and be creative!

Find a way to give service to someone else.  A lot of times when we are hurting, it helps to reach out to others who might be hurting also or looking outside of ourselves to find someone who might need help and who we can give an extra hand too. Go clean up in the neighborhood or walk somebody's dog for free, or write a note of appreciation to someone, do a chore for someone without being asked, go mow somebody's lawn for free. It's amazing the good feeling we get in our hearts when we do something for someone else, so when you are feeling down, reach out and do something for someone else. The feeling is amazing!


Questions and Answers

Q. Why don't my parents get along?
A. Sometimes parents fall out of love with each other, for reasons no one else understands. They may like different things, and want to do different things from each other. Because of this, they begin to argue, and then they become more and more unhappy. One thing to remember is that parents NEVER stop loving their children.

Q. Was the divorce my fault?
A. No. Divorce is never the child's fault. Divorce is something that happens between two adults and it is not because of anything that someone else did.

Q. Do my parents still love me?
A. Yes they do. Ask them, and they will tell you. The divorce was not your fault, and your parents are not angry with you.

Q. Who will take care of me?
A. Your parents will still take care of you. Your parents will probably decide to live in separate places. You may only live with one parent, or you may live with one parent sometimes, and with the other parent at other times. If you spend time with each parent, and you get confused, ask them to help you. Maybe you can figure out a way to make the schedule easier.

Q. If I'm good, will they get back together again?
A. No. You may think that if you are good, your parents will stop being mad. This is not true. Keeping your room clean won't bring them back together. Trying to get along with your brother or sister won't bring them back together. It is their decision, and whether you are good OR bad does not influence their decision to divorce.

Q. What can I do when they yell at each other?
A. You can leave the room. You can ask them not to fight in front of you. You can go to your room and shut the door. You can write them a letter and tell them how much it hurts you when they argue with each other. You can go to someone else's house (ask permission first, though). You can turn on the TV and try not to listen to them.